Don’t be with someone who’s holding you back.
We’re very much familiar with these kinds of relationships at this point. It’s either we’ve been in one before or we’ve witnessed our friends be stuck in these cyclical relationships that end and get reborn just to end again. However, even these kinds of relationships are unique and they take their shapes in various forms s well. There are some couples who are just destined to fight and fight all the time because that’s essentially what defines their relationship; and weirdly enough, it’s also what makes their relationship work.
That’s just the odd dynamic of their relationship and they make it work for them. But then there are also those couples who are also just breaking up and making up over and over again – and you can tell that there is some serious dysfunction in their relationship that needs addressing.
So what happens if you’re stuck in this kind of relationship? What do you do? How do you know if this is just a dynamic that you need to bear with because that’s what relieves the pressure in your relationship? Or how do you know if your fights are borne out of genuine dysfunctions which make you virtually incompatible with one another? That’s what you really have to figure out. You don’t want to be wasting your time with someone who you’re giving so much effort for even though things probably aren’t going to last.
Yes, you are afraid of ending up alone for the rest of your life. And that’s why it can be tempting to ring your exes and hope that they take you back just so you don’t have to feel so lonesome. But that’s the wrong approach to love and you can’t allow yourself to be like that. If you find that these 6 signs apply to your on again – off again relationship, then you just really need to move on from one another and get on with your lives.
1. You feel like the relationship is really exhausting you.
Relationships are never designed to be simple and easy. So it’s perfectly normal for you to feel tired every once in a while because of your relationship. Whenever you devote time and energy into something, it’s always going to tire you out to some extent. However, a relationship should never have to make you feel completely fatigued or exhausted. A relationship shouldn’t deprive you of so much energy to the point where you don’t get to enjoy anything else in life anymore.
2. You grow to become resentful towards your partner.
Resentment is something that should never be present in a loving relationship. Yes, you can get upset and annoyed at one another every so often. But when the resentment is a lingering presence, then you know that something is definitely wrong.
3. You spend more time apart than you do together.
If you’re spending more time as a couple that has been broken up than you do as couple that stays together, then that’s a huge indication that you’re just not meant to be with one another. You shouldn’t keep on trying to force the issue on this matter because both of you are only going to end up wasting both of your time. And you will have nothing to show for it when it’s all said and done.
4. You think of the relationship as a chore or a burden.
While a relationship does need substantial dedication and effort to sustain itself, that doesn’t mean that it should be seen as some kind of chore or burden. It should still be a pleasure – more than anything else. It should still be able to bring you joy, happiness, and fulfillment. But if you treat it like a chore or a job, then you’re just really doing it wrong and you’re definitely not meant for one another.
5. You find yourself having to convince your partner to put in more effort.
Here’s a pro-tip: if you constantly find yourself having to beg your partner to put more effort into the relationship, then they’re not really interested in you. And when that’s the case, you should just move on to someone better. Quit while you’re ahead and move on to better things.
6. You don’t really know why you want to stay together other than the fact that you don’t want to be alone.
If your primary motivation for getting back together with someone is because you don’t want to be alone anymore, then you know that you’re getting into that relationship for all the wrong reasons. Real relationships should never be borne out of fear or anxiety. Real relationships are built on foundations of trust, love, compatibility, and meaning. But to get into a relationship just because you’re too scared of being single is just downright meaningless. It’s not the right way to go about falling in love with someone. And you’re bound to just make yourself unhappier in the long run.