Ahhhh, the dreaded ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend… that is the last person any of us want to think about—let alone talk about—in our current relationship. And yet, it does have a very important place in the here and now. As human beings, by nature, we have a tendency to learn from experience and our past. How else are we supposed to know what works and what doesn’t work if we haven’t tried it, right? This appears to be a well-known and generally understood concept. But when it comes to relationships, our past may not always be a positive thing.
Every relationship we have had (good, bad, or indifferent) has brought us to where we are today. Whether our experience was positive or not, there is one underlying theme—we all learned something from it. Some of us are better at handling the “old flames” of our current spouse than others, but does anyone enjoy hearing about who came before us? While we generally do not like to hear about the past of our significant other, there are many lessons that can be taught by looking at it. In situations such as these, perspective is key. So, what is he really thinking when we bring up our ex?
20Fire Signs: Beautiful Destruction
What has the ability to mesmerize us with its beauty while simultaneously destroying everything it comes into contact with? Fire. According to Astrostyle,the Fire signs demand respect and will occasionally remind us of that.
It is no surprise to any of us when dealing with these signs that they can often come into our life like a hurricane, leaving destruction and beauty in their wake.
Although not solely based on destruction, sometimes we need to be stripped down in order to be built back up, and some of us just need to be stripped. Here is what the Fire signs are thinking when we bring up an ex.
19Aries: Looking For A Fight
Although appearing flirtatious on the surface, we should not think that an Aries is going to let us glorify our ex without some confrontation, as per Thought Catalog. The fire and passion commonly associated with this sign comes with ups and downs. While it may seem as though we are not trying to make them jealous, Aries will be thinking that this is the case. This may cause him to feel threatened or feel as though our ex is in competition with him. Although not known for expressing his emotions well, he is a fierce protector and he acts quickly—sometimes impulsively. It is important for us to keep this in mind when bringing up an ex because it can help avoid an unnecessary confrontation.
18Leo: Better Than He Is
The topic of an ex can sometimes be awkward for a Leo who tends to be dominant, insecure and jealous, according to Thought Catalog. While he is not known to be the most jealous of all the signs, his jealousy will most certainly rear its head during this conversation.
He will more than likely begin to question the relationship as a whole, and his need to be the center of attention will be a driving force for this.
He will probably be thinking that we are not over our ex, therefore making it extremely important for us to let him know that this is not the case.
17Sagittarius: Willing To Share
Questions, questions, and more questions will likely be the theme of this conversation for Sagittarius. Contrary to the other fire signs, he may see this as an opportunity to learn and grow—for the both of us. While it may be easy to speak with him about it, it is also extremely important to make him feel good about the current relationship, as stated in Your Tango. He will be receptive to the topic and will most likely not feel threatened by our ex, but he will also be hoping that we pay attention to him and all of the ways that he makes the relationship unique.
16Water Signs: Emotional Rollercoaster
How can something we all need and something we all use every day be so refreshing and yet so unforgiving at times? Although the need is great, the tragedy that can be associated with it can be devastating.
Water—we can’t live with it, and we can’t live without it… or them.
The Water signs. While far less robust and dangerous at face value, according to Astrostyle, we should not underestimate the damage that can be done or has been done to one of these signs. Although in tune with their emotions, for the most part, the Water signs have a tendency to be on the jealous side, even if they hide it well.
15Cancer: Not Bothered By Him
He will not be quick to show any signs of jealousy, nor will he be second-guessing the relationship, according to Your Tango. But he will be seeking to understand why we are discussing our ex to begin with. Bringing up our ex should be as a means to learn something or as a way of opening a more in-depth conversation. While he may be thinking that it is uncomfortable to talk about, he is also willing to listen. He loves, and he loves hard. And he has faith that you will not hurt him; so, don’t give him any reason to think otherwise.
14Scorpio: Begins To QuestionPinterest
Blah, blah, blah, blah is most likely the direction this talk will take. He will be envious, and he may outright not want to hear about it. Scorpios are the most jealous of all of the signs, according to Your Tango. Although it takes time to build a relationship with him, he is not trusting of us.
We should expect to hear their honest opinions about our ex and whatever reason it is that we have decided to bring him up.
So, be ready for the truth going into this discussion. While known for being loyal to a fault at times, we can’t rely on Scorpio’s loyalty to keep him around once he feels as though he can’t trust us.
13Pisces: I’m Better To You, Right?
He will be open about the topic at hand, but he is going to want to make sure that he is not making the same mistakes as our ex did. He wears his heart on his sleeve, according to Thought Catalog, and when he loves, he loves us with all that he has. He will be asking us if he is better than our ex and he will need reassurance that this is so. His loving and tender demeanor will be a leading factor for him during this conversation, but that is not something to be taken lightly. He will be looking for us to appreciate him as well.
12Air Signs: The Winds Of Change
Appearing as simple and often overlooked—according to Astrostyle—the Air signs are often thought of as the winds of change because of their need for action. Often great at communicating, they are also not the type to talk the talk without walking the walk.
The Air signs rely heavily on following through and generally don’t say something unless they actually mean it.
So. when they speak, we need to be sure that we are listening. Although it may not always be an upbeat and happy conversation, talking about an ex is something they will take very seriously; so, we shouldn’t say something we may come to regret.
11Gemini: Lends A Listening Ear
“I know, I know, I know,” will be the stance he takes on this. Geminis are known for doing their research on us. When in a relationship with us, they are there for a reason, according to Labyrinthos. He will be thinking that he already knows what we are about to say, but his thirst for knowledge may pique his interest in why we want to talk about our ex to begin with. He will not feel threatened by our ex, and he will be open to talking with us, but keeping his interest in the conversation may be difficult when he already knows everything—or at least he thinks so.
10Libra: Looks To Be Better
Having this conversation may be difficult enough for us to do when it comes to the Libra man. He will most likely be with a crowd of people, according to Thought Catalog. So, getting him away will be a task for us.
He will be thinking that he does not want to argue about our ex or be in any type of a confrontation with us about him, but he will want to please us, and this may allow the conversation to continue even if it becomes awkward.
His need for perfection will have him thinking of ways that he can be better and do better for the sake of the relationship.
9Aquarius: Tries Looking To The Future
Holding back his feelings is not a strong suit for Aquarius, as per Your Tango;so, we should be prepared to hear exactly how he is feeling. He will be wondering how our ex has anything to do with our future—especially with him. He will be hoping that we are being open and honest with him, and being so can lead to a long and healthy conversation for us. Aquarius will be thinking of a way to grow from this conversation and apply what he learns to the future—together. He will most likely be dreaming of the future and thinking how wonderful it can be.
8Earth Signs: Staying Grounded
While we may get slightly off track speaking with one of the Air signs about an ex, we can count on one of the Earth signs to keep us well-grounded during this conversation, according to Astrostyle.
While it may be easy to think about the positive parts of our past, the Earth signs will be quick to help us acknowledge the negative parts as well.
It may be important to visit the past every now and then, but it is equally as important—if not more so—not to get stuck there. It is called our past for a reason, right? These signs will help ensure that we can go back without getting stuck.
7Taurus: Okay, But This Is Now
While Taurus is not known for communicating, they are known for being protective, according to Thought Catalog. This conversation will most likely be taking place in the comfort of their own home—or ours—due to Taurus’ habit of being a homebody. That doesn’t necessarily mean the talk will go well. He will probably be thinking that he needs to protect us in some way while also making sure that we feel as though we are loved and secure. He will want us to know that we are safe with him and he will most likely try reminding us of the fact that our ex is an ex for a reason.
6Capricorn: Let Me Show You I Am Not Him
He will be more apt to remain silent than he will be to talk, but he is listening to us, according to Thought Catalog. He will be thinking of ways that he can prove he is different, especially when our ex has done something to hurt us.
He may not be the biggest fan of talking about feelings; he is genuine and sincere when it comes to relationships, though.
Still, he has a tendency to doubt his own decisions. This will most likely cause him to question some of his actions in the relationship up to this point, but he is only doing so in an effort to make sure he knows how to act moving forward.
5Virgo: But That’s Not Me, Right?
The Virgo guy will be questioning if he is anything like our ex, according to Labyrinthos. Talking about our ex-beau will be uncomfortable for him—mostly because of his desire to feel needed and because of his tendency to be too hard on himself. He will look at the topic of our ex as a problem and seek to solve it, which may lead to him feeling the need to overcompensate in the relationship moving forward. His already existing pressure of the need to be better—for himself, not just you—may lead to him feeling vulnerable, which will be the cause for us to pay extra attention to him in the future.
4Bonus Leo: Are Most Likely To Be Threatened By An Ex
The Leo man is most likely to feel threatened by an ex because of his need to be the center of attention, coupled with his already jealous personality, as per Your Tango.
While the other signs are more open to the general conversation, Leo needs to be dominant, and he may feel as though he is not the center of our world if we are bringing up our ex.
While this does not necessarily mean that he won’t want to continue the relationship, it is most definitely a cause for concern in the future. We should be aware that talking about our ex may bring some doubt into the relationship.
3Bonus Gemini: Are Least Likely To Be Threatened By An Ex
The Gemini man is least likely to feel threatened by our ex because of his commitment to us. Once in a relationship with a Gemini, he is there to stay. He has done his research on us, according to Thought Catalog, and he has carefully plotted out the course of the relationship up to this point. The very thoughtful nature of Gemini’s will allow him to learn something from our past relationship and apply it to the current one—which will inevitably only make things better. We should not worry about being abandoned—not by a Gemini. He will see this as an opportunity and therefore he is least likely to feel threatened by our ex.
2Bonus Scorpio: Are Most Likely To Stick Around
Due to the amount of time he puts into building and maintaining a relationship Thought Catalog—Scorpio is the most likely to stick around. He does not enjoy feeling as though he has wasted his time and he is not overly threatened by the mention of our former beau.
He is loyal—to a fault at times—which will make walking away almost impossible for him.
Although he may feel the need to readdress his level of trust in us, this is something that will most certainly be directed by the overall tone of the conversation. All of the various characteristics of our Scorpio guy will play a role in why he is most likely to stick with us.
1Bonus Aries: Are Least Likely To Stick Around
The explosiveness and stubbornness most commonly associated with Aries is the main reason why he is least likely to stick around. Thrill-seeking and flirtatious by nature—according to Labyrinthos, we should not quickly overlook his tendency to let his anger get the best of him. He is not the best at communicating, and he is not known for thinking before he acts. So, he will most likely react out of anger and make an impulsive decision, which seldom ends well. The general consensus when it comes to Aries—based on character traits—is that he is least likely to stick around when upset by something as simple as mentioning our ex’s name.